


Dawn

by redprincessofdawn



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Heartbreak, Love Epiphany, Unrequited Love, this is honestly sappy af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 23:33:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10774782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redprincessofdawn/pseuds/redprincessofdawn
Summary: Hak recalls the morning he realized what he felt was love, and that same morning his heart was broken.





	Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm trying to get back into writing. A fresh start after a year and a half hiatus from fanfiction. This is far from my best work, but it's the first thing I've written in a while that I didn't hate, so I thought maybe someone else might enjoy reading it. This is cross-posted to my tumblr.

Hak remembers the day he realized he was in love extremely vividly.

It wasn’t because it was due to some cataclysmic event, or even because the realization was all that earth-shattering to him. Deep down, he kind of always knew he loved Yona. It wasn’t as if he was ignorant to the elation he felt when she smiled at him, laughed at one of his jokes, or as if he never noticed the way his cheeks tended to fill with colour whenever she looked particularly cute. He’d simply never thought to assign a name to the fluttery feelings Yona gave him before then.

No, the reason he remembers that day so vividly was because it was the same day his heart was broken for the first time.

From the shade of the morning sky, to the colour of the flowers that bloomed in the palace gardens; he could remember everything about that morning to every last searing detail. He was 15 and Gramps had dragged him to visiting the palace. He’d woken up earlier than he would _ever_ voluntarily, Gramps’ thunderous snoring making it near impossible to fall back asleep. So he left his cot and dressed, deciding to roam around the still-sleeping palace grounds.

He remembers how slightly cool and damp the air felt, with lingering warmth from what little amount of sunlight that streaked the sky. He soon grew bored with his walk and the empty castle, unamused with watching workers scurrying past him to prepare for the morning. He had decided to make his way to the castle gardens, if not purely for a different environment to wander through. He remembers being surprised to find a second figure weaving between the ornate hedges and trimmed rosebushes, her unruly red locks giving her away.

“ _Hime?”_ He remembers calling to her. _“Sleepwalking?”_  

She had spun around so fast at the sound of his voice that her hair had smacked her in the face. He laughed at her flushed, embarrassed face, ruffling her glossy red curls as he passed her.

 _“No. I couldn’t sleep,”_ Yona had replied, scampering after him. He recalls that her obi hadn’t been tied right, probably because she hadn’t had her maid's help in dressing that morning.

He’d hummed in response. Yona continued, _“I heard someone snoring and I couldn’t fall back asleep!”_

At that, Hak stifled a laugh. His and Gramps’ guest room had been situated just below Yona’s.

 _“What about you?”_ She had enquired, stepping in front of him to peer up at his face.

He’d felt slightly warm under her curious amethyst gaze, and flitted his own away. _“Same problem. ‘Cept I was unfortunate enough to share my room with the perpetrator.”_

She had laughed then, and the warmth spread. He’d… always loved how she laughed. It was both musical and incredibly adorable in a way he couldn't describe. 

They lapsed into a comfortable silence after this, and he could hear her stomach gurgle. Like when they were children, he’d made a snide comment about how loud it was. It earned him a swift smack on the shoulder, but she didn’t argue when he lead her to an apple tree at the far end of the gardens. Snapping a couple of fruit from the lush branches, he tossed one to Yona, and she fumbled awkwardly to catch it.

 _“Your hand-eye still needs some work, Hime.”_ He remembers joking, because it was followed by an indignant look from the princess in question.

She had stuck her tongue out at him before taking a bite of her apple. _“I don’t need good hand-eye, Hak. I just need to be good with political stuff.”_

 _“You’re not good at either,”_ He pointed out, and she had looked about ready to hurl her half-eaten apple at him.

“ _Meany,”_ She had replied, taking another curt bite of her fruit, before deciding to do just that.  

The throw had been weak, and he’d dodged it without issue, chuckling. Yona had pouted and turned her back on him.

 _“Oh, Hak! Look!”_ She’d exclaimed suddenly, jabbing a finger at the pinkening sky with renewed enthusiasm. _“Dawn is rising!”_

He remembers the way the sun, peeking over the gardens, seemed to form a glowing halo around her head. He remembered how beautiful she looked, how bright her smile was, how cute her big violet eyes were. He remembered how something in him suddenly clicked. How everything made sense in that moment… all those feelings she made him feel, he now knew what they were.

He was in love. 

At the time, he hadn’t been worried about the realization. Loving her wasn’t as hopeless as he would soon realize; it was still new and exciting. It still felt like it was within his reach, and as he came to stand next to her, he found himself actually wondering how she would react if he told her. Would she think it was strange? Would she be surprised? Would she… _could_ she ever return that feeling?

 _“Hak,”_ Her voice had torn him from his thoughts. _“...We’re friends, right?”_

He’d blinked at her. “ _‘Course.”_

Yona exhaled slowly, her eyes still focused on the sunrise that illuminated her pretty face. “ _...Then I can ask you something that’s maybe… a little weird?”_ Her cheeks seemed to redden once she forced the words out.

His heart had skipped a beat at those words, and he reached for her hand. “ _‘Course you can.”_ He’d murmured, and watched the redness of her cheeks spread to her whole face. 

She clutched her long sleeves, bringing her other hand to her mouth and squeezing her eyes shut. _“Okay um…”_ She huffed out a nervous little breath. “ _Would you happen to know… what sort of girl Suwon likes?”_

He stopped reaching for her hand.

If he were smarter and stronger, he’d have taken some time away from her after that. Refused to go to the castle for a while, meet some other girls, allowed or even _forced_ himself to fall in love again. It surely would’ve saved him some heartache and yet… he couldn’t bring himself to cut Yona from his life, even temporarily. Just being by her side, seeing her smiles directed his way was so rewarding in itself that he missed it when he was away. And inevitably, whenever Mundok would mention a trip to the castle, he’d jump at the chance to see her again like a lovesick fool.

In hindsight, becoming her bodyguard perhaps did more harm than good when it came to himself. Everyday, Yona would say something, or do something thoughtlessly that was incredible to him. She’d smile so brightly or offer someone kindness that he found himself falling in love with her all over again each day. And he’d have to keep facing that reality, keep reliving that heartbreak every time.

Soon, he learned to live with it. To be happy for her happiness, to cheer her and Suwon on in the life he was sure they’d build together someday. He learned to be at peace with his place next to them. Sure, he’d never have Yona’s heart the way she’d so thoroughly and unintentionally ensnared his, but if he could still protect her and see her happy, that was all he really needed.

Just having a place in her life was enough.

 


End file.
